I am there for you
by prolixius5
Summary: Running against time and madness, will they make it? Starsky's POV. Rude language, angst, tissue warning at the end. This is not a death fic. Complete. Thanks for taking the time to read and review, I need it more than ever!


**I am there for you  
-**

_Thanks to all the great reviews and out-of-FFN comments I recently received for my little "soapy scenes", with a wink to Barricades-of-Heaven who seems completely addicted to them -)_

_I take this opportunity to post here a special **THANK YOU **for all those who have nominated me or my stories for the Torino awards. I don't know where you are, who you are, but one thing for sure, I know what you are: very generous! When I first registered here, I did even know there was such thing as "Torino awards". And I'm so thankful, esp. considering I have joined this community less than a year ago. It feels great to be part of this adventure, in which I have learned so much already!  
__Thanks to Emma (ECE23) for writing the very first review and being so faithful, to the Sheriff (you're one of a kind, in and out FFN) and Janet who I can't thank thru FFN direct mailing, to SFSK8rGrrl (L., my friend, I hope you are fine, I miss you), to Marie (who are you, Dear?), to Galina (spasiba!), to Provence for the trust she showed me, to Tatyana (thanks for trusting me with your work), and and... to all the others I havent listed here: you have made my day more than often and encouraged me to go on. Geez, now I'm beginning to sound soapy myself;-) _

_Okay, back to the next fic. Enjoy this 31st one and... thanks for your R&R. Now you know what it means to me :D. Have a great day, Lyxie._

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I swear I've never felt like this.

Like the whole world is tumbling down on me... on us!

This is totally insane! Please God, don't let this happen. I beg you, with all I have in me, in my heart, in my soul. I would die for him, you know that, huh? I made a deal with you long ago. I would go through fire and hell for him if you asked me to. In order to salvage his existence.

I don't care if I don't make it, not anymore. Because my life does not matter any longer. Something more important is at stake. _He _needs to make it, not me. And I need to find _her_. Otherwise, he's gonna lose it. And I'm gonna lose him.

I've been spending the last three days trying to cope for both of us, trying to keep his sanity intact. I've talked to him, comforted him, taken him to my place and closer to my heart, simply because leaving him alone right now is not an option.

At first, he was playing strong and determined. Then, last week, all hell broke loose when the Feds abandoned their research. And I'm too concerned about him to let him go on alone on this quest. I'm torn between two lifes to save, knowing that they are so intricately bonded.

Dobey has granted us both with unlimited leave of absence until this is resolved, one way or another. I'm not sure the odds are good for us to make it out of this unharmed though.

Of shit! What am I saying? I should be the one to maintain spirits high enough for both of us! And look at me! Sorry, Buddy, we'll be all right, I promise. We'll find them, even if... okay, even if I have to die in the process. I don't give a damn. I'll save you, you hear me? I won't allow you to be hurt more than you are!

Bastards! We never saw 'em coming. How could we have guessed? Life was so sweet, so promising, so...

Fuck them! If I ever find them, no... this does not sound right, WHEN I find them, I swear I'm gonna kill them with my bare hands. Because they dared to hurt you, because they stole your most precious treasure. I will lose everything, I will fight everyone, I will sacrifice my badge, my career, my energy, my last breath, but I WILL save you.

Yesterday, for the first time since we have known each other, you completely collapsed in my arms and cried like a little boy. Gee, I felt my tears rolling down my cheeks and on your hair as I was holding you close to me. It took me more than an hour to calm you down, distilling all my love in you through soft strokes on your forehead, on your shoulders, in your back, feeling your heartbeat desperately fighting for life against my furious pumping chest, until you finally crashed and fell asleep right in my arms.

I would not move an inch, I was so afraid to awaken you and steal this brief moment of rest from you. Yet, even then, I felt your body being shaken by spasms. Your nightmare insidiously nested in my heart and made my decision even more final. I will not stop until I nailed these sons of ...

I couldn't say why, but this morning I felt something was gonna happen. If your head had been clear, you would have called me a freak, with that big sweet smile illuminating your face. But now your face is ravaged with nothing but pain and despair.

We may have lost the taste of happiness and humor, but we did not lose our connection.

You suffer, I'm in pain. You're hurt, I bleed inside. You cry, I hold my breath. You're cold, I shiver. You die, … no way! I die, you live!

You hear me, Blondie?

You ARE gonna make it through this nightmare, 'cause you have to, period!

Because this is the way it's gotta be.

Because that's what I want.

Because someone else needs you.

You and I were outa time, recently, as if the planet had stopped spinning, for lack of momentum, as if the universe itself decided to hold its breath until we put an end to this nonsense.

You and I rushed to that abandoned building even before Dobey had the chance to finish his sentence.

You and I entered that dark place, guns in hands, rage in heart, ready for whatever would come our way.

I made it before you, keeping my body between yours and possible harm. Remember, you need to live, Babe. And if you ask me why, my only answer will be: because I said so, that's why!

You, in my back, and I, walking in front of you; we faced the bastards and shot them before they had the chance to do us.

They lost.

I won.

You're alive.

And so is she.

Apparently safe.

You have not seen each other for so many days that I suddenly feel my presence here is inadequate.

I'd like to leave you two alone, so you can share this precious moment, savor each other's heartbeats in a great big hug. She was away for too long.

Why don't you take her in your arms? Why won't she stand up and...

Then I see it!

Blood. Her blood! All over!

Then I hear it!

That sound! I think I'll never forget the sound of that cry. Your cry!

It's imprinted in my ears and in my heart for the rest of my life.

Then silence.

And we all understand.

I hear the soft words you whisper, colored with enough gratitude to fill in the entire galaxy.

_- Starsk, meet … David junior... your god son._

I'm crying.  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(The End)


End file.
